Instant HA-HA

Help us show you the best jokes on the Internet


Manager to his subordinate:

- What are you doing here?

- Executing your command.

- But I haven't told you anything.

- So and I do nothing.

vote here:

Golf course romance

Many years ago during my married days, I accidentally overturned my golf cart. Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out:

"Are you okay? What's your name?"

"It's John, and I'm okay, thanks," I replied as I pulled myself out of the twisted cart.

"John," she said, (firm loose breasts undulating beneath her white silky robe) "forget your troubles. Come to my villa, rest a while and I'll help you get the cart up later."

"That's mighty nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife would like it."

"Oh, come on now," Elizabeth insisted.

She was so very pretty, very very sexy and very persuasive ... I was weak. "Well okay," I finally agreed but thought to myself, "my wife won't like it."

After a couple of restorative Scotch and waters, I thanked Elizabeth. "I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset. So I'd best go now."

"Don't be silly!" Elizabeth said with a smile, letting her robe fall open slightly. "She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"

"Still under the cart, I guess."

vote here:


"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing... except when you're at a funeral.

vote here:

Mark Zuckerberg logs in for the very first time

Did you know that when Mark Zuckerberg invented Facebook and logged in for the very first time, he had a friend invitation from Chuck Norris?

vote here:




Must be able to clean, cook, sew, dig worms and clean fish. Must have boat and motor.

Please send a picture of boat and motor.

vote here: