My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
Mom: Did you eat all the donuts?
Mom: Why are you lying to me? I can see all the powder on your pants?
Me: That is cocaine...
Man: "Would you like to become...
... ahh... mother of my kids?
Blonde: "Why not? How many kids you have?"
My deaf girlfriend started talking in her sleep in bed last night.
...nearly had my eye out!
"Marriage" is not a word.
It is a sentence.