Forex trader goes at the street and very nice young lady ask him:
Lady: Dear sir, I am making poll, can I ask you simple question?
Forex trader: Of course you can.
Lady: What is your average income?
Forex trader: My average income is around 200 000 $.
Lady: I'm sorry, I thought your monthly income.
Forex trader: I'm sorry, I thought daily.
Two beggars are sitting on the pavement in Ireland. One is holding a large Cross and the other a large Star of David. Both are holding hats to collect contributions. As people walk by, they lift their noses at the guy holding the Star of David, but drop money in the other guys hat. Soon one hat is nearly full, whilst the other hat is empty.
A priest watches and then approaches the men. He turns to the guy with the Star of David and says, "Don't you realize that this is a Christian country? You'll never get any contributions in this country holding a Star of David."
The guy holding the Star of David then turns to the guy holding the Cross and says, "Hymie, look who's trying to teach us Marketing."
Upon waking, a woman said to her husband, "I just dreamt that you gave me a necklace of pearls. What do you think it means?"
The man smiled and kissed his wife. "You'll know tonight," he softly whispered.
That evening, the man came home with a small package which he gave to his wife. She jumped up and embraced him, and then settled on the couch to slowly and delicately unwrap the package.
It contained a book entitled, 'The Meaning of Dreams'.
When people hug you, fart loudly. You'll make them feel very strong.
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool.
I gave him a glass of water.