Doctor says to a patient: "Now breathe in deeply through your nose."
The patient does so and the doctor starts to laugh. The patient asks what is the matter?
The doctor wipes his tears and says, "I just farted."
My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
Mom: Did you eat all the donuts?
Mom: Why are you lying to me? I can see all the powder on your pants?
Me: That is cocaine...
Forex trader goes at the street and very nice young lady ask him:
Lady: Dear sir, I am making poll, can I ask you simple question?
Forex trader: Of course you can.
Lady: What is your average income?
Forex trader: My average income is around 200 000 $.
Lady: I'm sorry, I thought your monthly income.
Forex trader: I'm sorry, I thought daily.
Upon waking, a woman said to her husband, "I just dreamt that you gave me a necklace of pearls. What do you think it means?"
The man smiled and kissed his wife. "You'll know tonight," he softly whispered.
That evening, the man came home with a small package which he gave to his wife. She jumped up and embraced him, and then settled on the couch to slowly and delicately unwrap the package.
It contained a book entitled, 'The Meaning of Dreams'.