A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the First house of the street. A tall lady answered the door. Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the cow droppings onto the carpet.
"Madam, if I could not clean this up within 5 minutes with the use of this new powerful Vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this dung!" exclaimed the eager salesman.
"Do you need chilly sauce or ketchup with that?" asked the lady.
The bewildered salesman asked, "Why, madam?"
"There's no electricity in the house..." said the lady.
Wife arrives home late at night from a business trip and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. But she notices four legs instead of two peeking from under the blanket!
Seized by a fit of rage, she reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket until the screaming stops. Still in shock, she lurches to the kitchen to have a drink.
As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.
- Oh welcome home darling, he says, your parents came for a visit, so I let them have our bedroom. I hope you said hello.
Teacher: Anyone who thinks he's stupid may stand up!
Nobody stands up
Teacher: I'm sure there are some stupid students over here!!!
Little Johnny stands up.
Teacher: Ohh, Johnny you think you're stupid?
Little Johnny: No... I just feel bad that you're standing alone...
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way.
So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Q: How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?
A: Knock on the door.