Two bats are hanging upside down on a branch. One asks the other, "Do you recall your worst day last year?"
The other responds: "Yes, the day I had diarrhea!"
Marriage is made up of three rings.
The first one is called as the 'Engagement Ring'. The second one is called as the 'Wedding Ring'. And the third one is called as the 'Suffering'.
A woman is at a grocery store. She goes to the clerk to purchase her groceries.
The clerk looks at her items and sees a carton of eggs, a gallon of milk, and a head of lettuce. He says to the woman, "You must be single."
The woman was surprised & replies, "Yes, how did you know?"
The clerk answers, "Because you're ugly."
Just changed my Facebook name to 'No one' so when I see stupid posts I can click like and it will say 'No one likes this'.
I wish my life had background music so I could figure out what the hell is going on.