If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.
Never laugh at your girlfriend's choices... you are one of them.
Escalators never break down... they just turn into stairs.
A man asks a farmer near a field, "Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train."
The farmer says, "Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you'll even catch the 4:11 one."
Why haven't you ever seen an elephant hiding in trees?
Because they're really, really good at it.