If the boss doesn't take back what he told me yesterday, I'll leave the company.
Why? What did the boss tell you?
Leave the Company !!!
Sherlock Holmes and Dr.Watson are on a camping trip.
In the middle of the night, Holmes nudges Watson awake, and says, "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
"I see millions of stars, my dear Holmes."
"And what do you infer from these stars?"
"Well, a number of things," he says, lighting his pipe:
- Astronomically, I observe that there are millions of galaxies and billions of stars and planets.
- Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
- Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
- Meteorologically, I expect that the weather will be fine and clear.
- Theologically, I see that God is all-powerful, and man, his creation, small and insignificant.
What about you, Holmes?"
"Watson, you fool. Someone has stolen our tent!"
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him, I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
Why do farts smell?
So deaf people can enjoy them too.
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology,
"And what starting salary are you looking for?".
The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.".
The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?".
The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?".
The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it.".