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Whats the difference...


Q: Whats the difference between a politician and a snail?

A: One is slimy, a pest, and leaves a trail everywhere and the other is a snail.


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Bad case of acne


How can you tell you have a really bad case of acne?

It's when the blind try to read your face.


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Live forever


I intend to live forever... or die trying.


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My best friend


I'm literally my own best friend like I have inside cool jokes with myself and sometimes I'll think something funny and start laughing out loud at how funny I am.


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Happiness


Never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if you have to leave them alone in order to do it.


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