Q: Whats the difference between a politician and a snail?
A: One is slimy, a pest, and leaves a trail everywhere and the other is a snail.
How can you tell you have a really bad case of acne?
It's when the blind try to read your face.
I intend to live forever... or die trying.
I'm literally my own best friend like I have inside cool jokes with myself and sometimes I'll think something funny and start laughing out loud at how funny I am.
Never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if you have to leave them alone in order to do it.