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Mathematics


Q: If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?

A: Big hands.


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If you accidentally drop your iPhone in the water...


If you accidentally drop your iPhone in the water, leave it lying on top of a bowl of rice for 24 hrs.

The rice attracts Asians who will automatically fix your electronics for you.


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Cat in school


The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?".

Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'".


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After my girlfriend got pregnant, everything changed


After my girlfriend got pregnant, everything changed.

My address, my job, my phone number...


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Poisonous


You won't find anything more poisonous than a harmonious and friendly group of females.


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