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After my girlfriend got pregnant, everything changed

After my girlfriend got pregnant, everything changed.

My address, my job, my phone number...

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Cheapest price

Who sells the products cheaper - a manufacturer or a distributor?

The storehouse guard.

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Snail with an attitude

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.

Three years later there's a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail.

The snail says: 'What the hell was that all about?'

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Read the sings

A clean house is the sign of a broken internet connection.

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Off to work

A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, 'You should've been here at 8.30!'

He replies. 'Why? What happened at 8.30?'

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