Q: If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
A: Big hands.
If you accidentally drop your iPhone in the water, leave it lying on top of a bowl of rice for 24 hrs.
The rice attracts Asians who will automatically fix your electronics for you.
The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?".
Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'".
After my girlfriend got pregnant, everything changed.
My address, my job, my phone number...
You won't find anything more poisonous than a harmonious and friendly group of females.