After my girlfriend got pregnant, everything changed.
My address, my job, my phone number...
The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?".
Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'".
You won't find anything more poisonous than a harmonious and friendly group of females.
Who sells the products cheaper - a manufacturer or a distributor?
The storehouse guard.
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later there's a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail.
The snail says: 'What the hell was that all about?'