Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?
At what age is it appropriate to tell my dog that he's adopted?
A blind man walks into a bar... and a table, and a chair.
Wikipedia: I know everything!
Google: I have everything!
Facebook: I know everybody!
Internet: Without me you're nothing.
Electricity: Keep talking, b*tches.
Patient: Oh doctor, I'm just so nervous. This is my first operation.
Doctor: Don't worry. Mine too.