Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 + 5 on a calculator?
A: She couldn't find the "10" button.
One cigarette shortens your life by two hours, one bottle of vodka by three hours, and a workday - eight hours.
My girlfriend told me I was one in a million. When I looked through her text messages, I had to admit she was right.
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognise a mistake when you make it again.
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.