Q: Why did the shark keep swimming in circles?
A: It had a nosebleed.
Be polite to every idiot you meet. He could be your boss tomorrow.
All I want is company...
...small oil company...
What's the difference between a smart man and a stupid man?
Nothing. They both think they know everything.
"Darling, can I go out in this dress?"
"Yes dear, it's already dark out."