Be polite to every idiot you meet. He could be your boss tomorrow.
What's the difference between a smart man and a stupid man?
Nothing. They both think they know everything.
Bill Gates farted in an Apple store.
He later commented, "Well it's hardly my fault they don't have any Windows..."
I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen.
Shortest joke a software developer can tell: "I'll be ready soon."