I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen.
A happy insurance boss says to his employees, "You worked very hard this year. As a reward, I'll give everyone a check for $5,000. If you work with the same zeal next year, I'll sign those checks."
What's the difference between a smart man and a stupid man?
Nothing. They both think they know everything.
If con is the opposite of pro, it must mean Congress is the opposite of progress.
You can train a cat to do anything the cat wants to do at the moment it wants to do it.