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No alcohol


I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen.


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Happy insurance boss


A happy insurance boss says to his employees, "You worked very hard this year. As a reward, I'll give everyone a check for $5,000. If you work with the same zeal next year, I'll sign those checks."


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Difference between a smart man and a stupid man


What's the difference between a smart man and a stupid man?

Nothing. They both think they know everything.


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Cons and pros


If con is the opposite of pro, it must mean Congress is the opposite of progress.


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Can yo train a cat?


You can train a cat to do anything the cat wants to do at the moment it wants to do it.


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