A happy insurance boss says to his employees, "You worked very hard this year. As a reward, I'll give everyone a check for $5,000. If you work with the same zeal next year, I'll sign those checks."
Shortest joke a software developer can tell: "I'll be ready soon."
I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen.
What's the difference between a smart man and a stupid man?
Nothing. They both think they know everything.
"Darling, can I go out in this dress?"
"Yes dear, it's already dark out."