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Drinking limits

I know my drinking limits: if I fell down, it means ENOUGH.

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War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

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Buy a car

I work to buy a car to go to work.

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The doctor and the outraged patient

Suffering from a bad case of the flu, the outraged patient bellowed, "Three weeks? The doctor can't see me for three weeks? I could well be dead by then!"

Calmly the voice at the other end of the line replied, "If so, would you please have your wife call to cancel the appointment?"

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Blonde hockey team

- Did you hear what happened to the blonde hockey team?

- They drowned in spring training.

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