War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
I work to buy a car to go to work.
Suffering from a bad case of the flu, the outraged patient bellowed, "Three weeks? The doctor can't see me for three weeks? I could well be dead by then!"
Calmly the voice at the other end of the line replied, "If so, would you please have your wife call to cancel the appointment?"
Make criminals pay, study to become a lawyer.
- Did you hear what happened to the blonde hockey team?
- They drowned in spring training.