Instant HA-HA

Help us show you the best jokes on the Internet

Yo momma is so fat

Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.

vote here:

Ice cream for Dalai Lama

The Dalai Lama walks into an ice cream shop. He asks the server: "can you make me one with everything?"

He hands the server a hundred dollar bill, which the server pockets.

Dalai Lama says "Hey, where's my change?"

Server: "Change comes from within."

vote here:


Sometimes the first step to forgiveness, is realising the other person was born an idiot.

vote here:

Today at school

Mother, "How was school today, Patrick?"

Patrick, "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!"

Mother, "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"

Patrick, "What school?"

vote here:

My grandmother is walking 5 miles a day

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60.

She's 97 now and we don't know where the hell she is.

vote here: