My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60.
She's 97 now and we don't know where the hell she is.
Pamela says on her 16th birthday: Daddy, don't you think I'm old enough to get my drivers' licence?
Father replies: You – yes. Our car – no.
Teacher: "Jill, where is the America on the map?"
Jill: "Right there, ma'am."
Teacher: "Correct. Now, Jack, tell me who found America?"
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time! I think I've forgotten this before.
Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
He's all right now.