Pamela says on her 16th birthday: Daddy, don't you think I'm old enough to get my drivers' licence?
Father replies: You – yes. Our car – no.
Teacher: "Jill, where is the America on the map?"
Jill: "Right there, ma'am."
Teacher: "Correct. Now, Jack, tell me who found America?"
Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
He's all right now.
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time! I think I've forgotten this before.
Lawyer's wife: "You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?"
Lawyer: "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears."
Lawyer's wife: "You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"
Lawyer: "Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, 'What other problem can there be greater than this one?'"