Lawyer's wife: "You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?"
Lawyer: "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears."
Lawyer's wife: "You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"
Lawyer: "Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, 'What other problem can there be greater than this one?'"
I used to be in a band, we were called "lost dog". You probably saw our posters.
Q: What do you call a rabbit that has fleas?
A: Bugs bunny.
Dear alcohol, We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter, and a better dancer...
I saw the video... we need to talk.
A man noticed his credit card has been stolen - but he never reported it.
The thief was still spending considerably less than his wife.