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What do you call a woman who always knows for sure where her husband is?

A widow.

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Ask the teacher

Little Johnny asks the teacher, "Mrs Roberts, can I be punished for something I haven't done?"

Mrs Roberts is shocked, "Of course not, Johnny, that would be very unfair!"

Little Johnny is relieved, "OK Mrs Roberts, sorry, I haven't done my homework."

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- Dude, my phone rang during the funeral. OMG!

- So what?

- My ringtone is 'Highway to hell...'

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Husband and wife

A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. "Och, I look like a pig!"

The man nods, "And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"

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Access denied

I decided to make my password "incorrect" because if I type it in wrong, my computer will remind me, "Your password is incorrect."

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