What do you call a woman who always knows for sure where her husband is?
Little Johnny asks the teacher, "Mrs Roberts, can I be punished for something I haven't done?"
Mrs Roberts is shocked, "Of course not, Johnny, that would be very unfair!"
Little Johnny is relieved, "OK Mrs Roberts, sorry, I haven't done my homework."
- Dude, my phone rang during the funeral. OMG!
- So what?
- My ringtone is 'Highway to hell...'
A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. "Och, I look like a pig!"
The man nods, "And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"
I decided to make my password "incorrect" because if I type it in wrong, my computer will remind me, "Your password is incorrect."