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Theory or practice

Theory is when you know everything, but nothing works.

Practice is when everything works, but no one knows why.

In our lab, theory and practice are combined:

Nothing works and no one knows why.

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Chuk Noris

Chuck Norris doesn't ever call the wrong number. You just answer the wrong phone.

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Start a small business

A man visits his bank manager and says, "How do I start a small business?"

The manager replies, "Start a large one and wait six months."

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Being lonely

Q. What's the worst thing about being lonely?

A. Playing Frisbee.

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How to respond to woman's question?

If a woman asks if she looks fat, it's not enough to say "NO".

You must also act very surprised by the question. Jump backwards if necessary.

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