A man wakes from a coma.
The wife changes out of her black clothes and irritated, remarks, "I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!"
The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children.
Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender?
They both got 6 months!
Sometimes I drink water - just to surprise my liver.
Never argue with a fool!
They will lower you to their level, and then beat you with experience.