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Christmas present


Little Johnny: "Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?"

Mother: "No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"


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How to look thinner without dieting?


Want to look thinner?

Hang out with fat people.


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Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher?


Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher?

There was no chemistry.


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Difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?


What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?

A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.


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Roses are red...


Roses are red.

Your blood is too.

You look like a monkey.

And belong in a zoo.

Do not worry,

I'll be there too.

Not in the cage,

But laughing at you.


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