Instant HA-HA

Help us show you the best jokes on the Internet

To do business with a drunk professional

It's better to do business with a drunk professional than a sober idiot.

vote here:

Pessimist and optimist

Pessimist: "Things just can't get any worse!"

Optimist: "Nah, of course they can!"

vote here:

Children, snow and Chuck Norris

Some children can pee their names into snow. Chuck Norris pees his in cement.

vote here:

Chuck Norris

Even though he can, naturally, Chuck Norris never swims, the water holds Chuck Norris up.

vote here:

Father of five children

The father of five children had won a toy at a raffle. He called his kids together to ask which one should get the present.

"Who is the most obedient?" he asked. "Who never talks back to mother? Who does everything she says?"

Five small voices answered in union, "Okay, dad. You get the toy."

vote here: