Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one - and let the other one off.
What's a mortgage broker?
A real estate agent without the sense of humour.
They say the surest way to a man's heart is through the stomach. But personally, I find going through the ribcage a lot more efficient.
Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A. "How do you breathe through something so small?"
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.