Why was the feminist picnic cancelled?
Because nobody made sandwiches.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one - and let the other one off.
What's a mortgage broker?
A real estate agent without the sense of humour.
A guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked.
She stuck her head out and said, "Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes..."
Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A. "How do you breathe through something so small?"