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They say the surest way to a man's heart is through the stomach. But personally, I find going through the ribcage a lot more efficient.

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Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

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Pay off

Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.

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Banks and mortgages

How can you know if your bank is hurting from the mortgage crisis?

You try to cash a check and they tell you to come back with a gun!

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Is this a bird or plane?

"It's a bird!"

"It's a plane!"

"It's... Oh shit, it IS a plane!"

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