Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
A guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked.
She stuck her head out and said, "Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes..."
How can you know if your bank is hurting from the mortgage crisis?
You try to cash a check and they tell you to come back with a gun!
"It's a bird!"
"It's a plane!"
"It's... Oh shit, it IS a plane!"
Q: How does a spoiled rich girl change a light bulb?
A: She says. "Daddy, I need a new apartment!"